Sticking up for myself has never been my strong suit. This past week, I accepted a position as an accompanist for an established high school choral program. The program is staffed by a veteran educator and a new hire in her 2nd year in the field. Overall, the staff is a solid team that I am proud to be part of. However, there is an imbalance of power between the two teachers that aligns with their years of experience in the field as well as their genders. Watching this dynamic from the sidelines has compelled me to be more assertive toward the veteran teacher.
The scenario below is one I've witnessed first hand. I've been in the role of both the novice teacher and the student in similar scenarios several times over. For the purposes of this post, I will refer to my experiences with older, male teachers using the collective name Jack. I will refer to my experiences with new, female-identifying teachers with the name Diane.
Scenario: Diane is leading the rehearsal, as agreed upon by both teachers during their planning period. Diane has outlined her lesson plan with clear objectives, while Jack - who knows the students well- prefers to teach by memory and rote. A few minutes into Diane's warm up, Jack interjects with his own set of warm-ups. After several minutes he hands the rehearsal over to Diane who begins her instruction. Within the first moments, the ensemble hears Jack shouting "No, no stop! That's not how I want to teach that." Jack proceeds to teach the remainder of the class without reference to Diane's plans.
Reactions? I thought so.
There are many problems with this interaction, the biggest of which I find to be Jack's lack of acknowledgment that Diane is a professional and not a student. Secondarily, Jack has undermined Diane's authority, not upheld his agreement to share rehearsal time, and created a work environment that places female colleagues at the same level as his freshman students.
The problems are easy for me to see, but Jack is unaware that his actions are problematic. And the reaction from students seems to be that this treatment is "status quo".
Facing this unintended- but very real- sexism, how can Diane, and those of us in the rehearsal space, contribute to a better work environment?
Solution #1: Have a Collegial Conversation
After rehearsal, ask to speak with your male colleague. If your colleague is like Jack, he will be more than willing to listen and discuss the situation. Be specific about any offensive language or actions that you observed. Avoid blame and veer toward educating your peer.
If your colleague is less than willing to hear your opinion, try framing your expectations as a need that he understands. For example, most teachers have to go through an evaluation process to improve their teaching. Diane could say:
"Since I'm new to this position and will be evaluated this year I'd like to run rehearsals from my lesson plan, uninterrupted. I know that is a different approach for you and some students but it is the best way for me to learn and improve."
You might also try addressing the tone of voice. Jack's harsh "No, no, stop." seemed to alert the class to an emergency situation, when that was not the intent. Be careful not to accuse your colleague of non-professional or sexist behavior unless you have proof that this was the intent. A common rule in DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) circles is "assume good intent." This means that you approach an issue of sexism, racism, ableism, etc. with the belief that the offending party is unaware that their words or actions have a negative impact.
During your first private conversation, try a neutral stance that aims to help your coworker see the events from another perspective.
"Jack, I'm having trouble gaining respect from the students. Could you use my title Miss X instead of calling me Diane when students are around?"
"Could you address me with a different tone than you address students? Or perhaps get my attention in a different way? It shows respect for me and it also helps me understand who you are addressing."
"I noticed that you shout 'stop' sometimes while I am leading rehearsal. It's demeaning for me to be addressed that way by a colleague and it affects how the students view me."
If you have to have this conversation a second time, take a harder stance. If there are other professionals, such as an accompanist, assistant director, or fine arts staff, it might be wise to include those persons in the conversation, either directly or as observers. All other adults in the rehearsal space should be made aware of this request and refrain from indulging Jack when Diane is on the podium.
"I know we discussed using a different tone when talking to each other in front of our students, but I do not feel that request is being observed. I cannot stop my rehearsal when you are yelling for me to stop, unless there is an emergency."
Solution #2: Redirecting Your Colleague
In the example above, Diane and her accompanist were caught off guard and promptly stopped rehearsal. Let's imagine for a moment that Diane anticipated the interruption and responded with an alternative. After hearing Jack's feedback, Diane might say "That's a great idea. Let's spend 5 minutes on it, then return to the lesson plan." *sets timer.*
For less intrusive situations, here are some phrases that might help to assert your presence if you're working with a coworker who does not value your experience:
Yes that's true, and also…
May I add something female vocalists need to know?
From a soprano's perspective, I would change...
Treble voices, try this.
Question: Is that the same for all voice types? (address to your colleague)
Question: Alto voices would you like a little help with that phrase? (address students)
If you and your colleague have a good rapport and sense of humor, you could also try a friendly joke to draw attention to your areas of expertise. Make sure you distinguish between sarcastic or passive aggressive commentary and witty conversation. Some of my favorites- delivered with a smile- include:
I've never been a male singer, so I will defer to Mr. W; I do know that treble and female voices do this...
You know, believe it or not, they do still teach that in college / grad school.
That was 100% accurate when Mr W sang soprano back in the day, however I learned...
Solution #3: Enlist Support
If scenarios like the one presented at the beginning of this post persist, then it's time to get others involved. A few strategies that I found helpful are:
When having a private conversation with your colleague, be consistent in your language and meet often. Thank your colleague when he makes appropriate changes in his interactions with you.
Ask other professionals to observe the two of you teaching together. I prefer asking colleagues who are at the same level (i.e.- other teachers, rather than administrators, student teachers, or para educators). If you do not feel the overall environment of your school values female and non-binary voices, try to involve a male colleague who respects you and can be an ally for you and others.
Correct name or pronoun misuse consistently, both in front of students and outside the classroom.
Document when you have 1-on-1 conversations with your counterpart and make note of agreements that you come to. In our initial scenario, Diane and Jack agreed that Diane would lead rehearsal. We know this was not upheld later, but having the documentation that it was discussed and agreed upon may be helpful in future discussions.
Finally, document when your colleague contradicts your agreements especially if this happens in front of students. When/if you need to involve the powers that be, it is sometimes necessary to have proof of discrimination and unprofessional behavior in order to be taken seriously. Sadly, in some settings it is common for a female employee not to be taken at her word. This is even more common for BIPOC women, non-binary persons, and those with disabilities or mental health diagnoses.
Solution #4: Involve Administration
I speak from experience when I say that you don't want your administrators fighting your battles for you. If you are the new kid on the block, involving your administrators too early or too often will give you a reputation as a teacher who needs help from other professionals. And since you are seeking to be treated as a professional equal, you should always try to resolve the conflict on your own. In some cases, it is necessary to involve supervisors, administrators, or Human Resources.
If a blatant sexist remark is made and directed either toward you a female staff member or a student. Examples of a common phrase might include ``you're not a tenor, you're a girl" (to a non-binary or transgendered singer).
When a colleague has indicated an unwillingness to be professional. For example, Jack instructing the ensemble to disregard Diane's teaching by replacing it with his own.
Solutions #1-3 have failed to change the colleague's behavior and have proven detrimental to the educational process
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